my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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