My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
