I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
