Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
