Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize