Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
