You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
