i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
