Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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