Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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