Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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