I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
