Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
