Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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