Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
