Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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