do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
