i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
