Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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