sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Boobs speak an international language.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
