It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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