i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
