he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
