you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
