Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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