Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Someone shattered a urinal.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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