i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
