You're so nebulous sometimes
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
