All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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