He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
