We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
