So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
