glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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