just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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