thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize