thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think I won the penis lottery.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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