allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize