My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
