Where are you?
In a non slutty way
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
