He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
