you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
