He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
