I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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