No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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