erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
