Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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