The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
