How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
