Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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