i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
