At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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