she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she looked like the before picture.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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