chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I AM VODKA MAN
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
