she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
