hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
