At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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