the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
