I seem to have left my pride at pride
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
