She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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