Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
