no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
