I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize