some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
